Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Kinda screwed up after all

After reading one of those emo romance novels that I've been reading, I started reflecting on my life and my reaction to things and... I realise I'm kind of a warped character.
No doubt my inability to get into a relationship easily would probably be attributed to my parents (I'm not going into detail about this in this post) but that's not all. I run and I hide. Not just from a relationship but from my emotions and from potentially emotionally trying situations.

It wasn't always like this as I was quite outgoing in primary school and would even say I was pretty popular too. Not that I wasn't in secondary school. Forgive me for saying so but I think I was pretty high profile in secondary school but even then, looking back, I used to hide in obscure corner early in the morning or whenever I feel like I couldn't talk to anybody and even in the cupboard of instruments in the band room. Even after progressing to junior college, I remember the few times I went up to the roof top to be alone.

I don't remember any hiding places in university as there wasn't a fixed time to be in school so I could always find reprieve elsewhere or even at home when everyone else was at work. What about right now? Of course I wouldn't be able to find a hiding place in school now but I think I don't even have time to hide at work. Instead, I start seeking refuge in reading emo novels to allow myself to cry. It may be for the characters' pain but more often than not, I start relating to their psyche, thoughts, pain and troubles.

I wonder where this revelation came from.